Tar Pits

by Trey Hobbs

fanatical, financial, frightening, glittery, mystery, sugar

(At the La Brea Tar Pits at the Page Museum. Nathan and Lydia look out at a poorly created CGI recreation of a Saber Tooth Tiger unseen by the audience while they listen to the automated tour guide speaks to them through their headphones.

Tour Guide: Panthera atrox are relatively rare at Rancho La Brea in contrast to smaller carnivores such as the saber-toothed cat Smilodon fatalis and the dire wolf Canis dirus. Complete individuals of any species are also extremely rare. However, the skeleton of this Panthera atrox nicknamed “Fluffy” is relatively complete. Thus far we have uncovered approximately 40% of this animal excluding the feet. However, there still may be more yet undiscovered at our excavation site. “Fluffy” gives paleontologists new and interesting data on limb proportions of these extinct felines. Continuing research includes taphonomic studies on how the bones were found in the ground.

(Throughout the speech the tour guide fades slightly when Nate takes his headphones out. Lydia leaves hers on longer until she doesn’t and then it’s completely out.  They stand there looking out, watching the silent video for an uncomfortable amount of time.)

Lydia: Tar. That would…It would be slow. I don’t imagine you would be though. You would though. Everything would be moving around you pretty slowly but you would be slushing  around pretty quickly. Or trying to.

Nate: That’s what gets you.

Lydia: What gets you?

Nate: The slushing. The fighting. Its what gets you sucked down quicker. Fighting hard to live is what does you in.

Lydia: A little frightening.

(A pause)

Lydia:  Do they not know?

Nate: Know what?

Lydia: That its tar. That it would suck them up?

Nate: Down.

Lydia:  Hmmm?

Nate: It wouldn’t suck them up it would suck them down.

Lydia: Mhhhmm. But how does an animal get stuck? Wouldn’t they away from it after just dipping a little claw in or something?

Nate: It’s pretty.

Lydia: Yea?

Nate: I mean its shiny, or glittery or something and they just get sucked in.

Lydia: Down.

Nate: I mean…

Lydia: I know.

Nate: Who knows?

Lydia: It remains a mystery.

Nate: Yea.

(Another pause)

Nate: Ready to go?

Lydia: Are you?

Nate: You want to stay?

Lydia: We haven’t been here that long. For thirty bucks I feel like we need to walk around a little longer.

Nate: We don’t need to.

Lydia: I just think we should get our money’s worth.

Nate:  We have. We saw it all. Our financial obligation is fulfilled.

Lydia: I’m just not ready to go yet.

Nate: What else do we need to see?

Lydia: I don’t know. I just want to stay.

Nate: (Clears his throat like “are you serious?!”)

Lydia: What?

Nate: Nothing. We can stay.

Lydia: I don’t think I’m being unreasonable.

Nate: You’re not. We’re staying

Lydia: Why don’t you want to stay.

Nate: We have… I didn’t know you were so fanatical for the tar pits. If I would have known…

Lydia: (overlapping) I’m not! You always do this. You always

Nate: What? What am I doing?

Lydia: You know.

Nate: No. I don’t.

Lydia: I just want to stay longer. And enjoy it. With you. I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to pop in, see it, pop out  get lunch. We never stay. We never enjoy. As soon as we get in the car we are going to talk about thai food and your friends art show. Why can’t we prolong this? This mystery. There is so much that isn’t this so why can’t we just have this longer? I don’t want to leave yet. I’m not asking to move in. I just want more time. That should be enough for you. Why isn’t that enough for you?

(A pause)

Nate: It is sugar. I’m sorry. It is.

(Maybe they hold hands. Maybe they don’t need to but they are reconnected in a way they weren’t at the start of the play. The following fades back in when their headphones go back on they listen.)

Tour Guide: Long before palm trees lined its busy streets, Los Angeles was an oasis of pine, sage and buckwheat.  Scientists at the Page Museum have recreated this original habitat with the Pleistocene Garden, a prehistorical landscape in Hancock Park representing the native vegetation of the Los Angeles Basin 10,000 to 40,000 years ago. Planned entirely from a plant list that was gathered from 35 years of research in the Pit 91 fossil excavation, the garden was started in 2004 and was divided into three ecological systems: Coastal Sage, Riparian and Deep Canyon.